Cultivating Bonds

By Digger - Her blog is Digging Deeper. You can read about her here. You can see all posts by Digger here. 


I am an only child. Due to several major events in my parents lives, there were no siblings in the cards for me.  I never got to experience what it's like to truly have that bond with another person. I never had somebody watching out for me, keeping secrets and sharing whispers, shaking from belly laughs, or understanding where I come from because they came from the same place. These are the things that tie you together tightly.

So of course now, armed with lessons learned, I have been super sensitive to the relationship between Bruiser and Monster, it's something I keep my eyes on, but my mouth shut about. I promised myself that I wouldn't instruct them that they're supposed to be friends and that they are to love one another. I leave them alone. It's their friendship to discover and develop, not mine. I enforce the basics, no hitting, no pushing, don't be a jerk, try to understand where he's coming from, that sort of thing. I can say for certain, that it has been my greatest joy as a parent so far to see their friendship grow naturally. I will hear laughter from the other room, and realize they are playing together, even with the age difference, they found a way to play. You have no idea what a relief this is.

From the day we brought Monster home from the hospital, Bruiser was convinced he was born just for him. It was "his" baby. And recently over the last few months I have seen their little relationship really take off. During the week when Bruiser is at school, Monster will look for him when he wakes up, and continues to ask for him throughout the day. When he draws, he always includes a little blob that represents Bruiser, he is always included.

They are best friends. And I love it.