Friday, February 3, 2012

What's your Legacy?

By Digger - Her blog is Digging Deeper. You can read about her here. You can see all posts by Digger here.

First, I want to say thank you again to Cassie for inviting me to be apart of this! I feel truly blessed and honored that she thought of me for this project. Over the past few weeks I've learned that we have a lot in common' much more than I first thought. She's a huge blessing to my life and I appreciate her immensely!

I'm suppose to be writing on things that inspire me. I've sat here most of the day trying to decide on what to say. Inspiration is a hard one for me. It's different for everybody so to pick something that inspires me, hoping that it will inspire you too, that's a challenge. But, I have to say, the one thing that ALWAYS give me inspiration is my family. Most of us can relate to that, so today, I thought I'd start with them; my boys to be exact.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. There is a family I know, whose mother was taken from them due to terminal illness. It came on quick and sudden. She left behind 2 little boys, a little girl and a wonderful husband. I can't shake them. It's been a week and it still haunts me. I just keep thinking, what if it was me? What if the boys and Hubs had to go on without me? It's a horrible thought I know, but it happens. So I started thinking about the legacy that I wanted to leave my boys. What I wanted them to remember and what I wanted them to learn.

I try to be a good mom. Most days I think I succeed. I want them to feel loved and important every night when they go to bed. I try to spend as much quality time with them as possible. I want them to know that I cherish every moment I get with them, and that God loves them as well. Love and faith: fairly common desires for any mother, I would think. But there's more isn't there. I mean, I want them to "know" other things from me. So I've wrote up this little letter that I'll share with you:
To My Darlings, Bruiser and Monster - 
1. Find the right wife. Nothing in your life can bring as much joy, or
sorrow, as the spouse you choose. Find someone who brings light
and love into your life. Find someone who is always kind to you.
Someone who is kind to others. Find someone you love to be around so much it hurts when they are away.
Find someone who understands you need time for yourself as well. Stay away from anyone who demeans or
belittles you. ---- Don't rush. Don't let excitement
blur your vision. Live enough of your life to know what type of
person you are looking for. And above all else, treat her like a princess and she, in turn, will treat you like a prince! 


2. Love your family. While good friends are wonderful, more times than not, they end up becoming people you keep in touch with through Christmas cards, if that. Family is forever. Spend time as brothers. He will become your best friend. You will never regret an evening spent playing together. Be  fiercely loyal to them. The memories made with your parents and siblings will be the ones you hold on to. 

3. Be gracious. Make people feel
comfortable around you. Be interesting, but more so, be interested in
other people. Understand that the world does not revolve around you.
Focus on others happiness. Be sincere. Serve others without needing
recognition. To be gracious is to be kind, refined,
loyal and focused on the needs of others. To both of
you boys, it means to be a gentleman. 

4. Become educated.
Graduate from college. See the world. Life is about the experiences you have. You can't take anything with you when you die, except for the memories you've created. Learn and
develop your talents. Read good books. Write your memoirs. Learn about the things that keep your body
healthy and strong. Meet interesting people. Be an interesting person. Be an

5. Have children and love them.
If you are able to have children, do.
Nothing will bring you more joy. Love them with everything you have. See
the change they make in your life, not as an invasion or a derailment
of your personal freedom (because you will feel that way at times). Teach them. Enjoy them. Take
advantage of every opportunity to show love. Love your
children. Love them as your parents loved you. Utterly and entirely.

This is my legacy that I want to leave behind for my boys. Have you thought about it lately? Have you written a letter to your children or grandchildren and told them what you've been trying to show them all these years? Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, it takes more than simple action, it takes a good conversation to explain what you're putting your whole heart into. So... what's your legacy?


  1. I do write letters to my children also. Although we differ in a few thoughts -

    DNA does not equal family. If you have subpar family you make your own. And some of your friends become that think otherwise could limit some of the best relationships in life. And to keep poisonous DNA family around destroys and damages children.

    College does not equal educated. Some of the smartest people I know never went to college. Some of the dumbest and ignorant people I know have a degree. College as the standard makes no sense. I want my children to learn every day all their life with or without a degree- and I tell them so often.

    Have children if you can? What if you can't? Leaving out that possibility subliminally puts adoption as a subpar choice. Do you want them to struggle with that if they can't? Having both biological and adopted children I can promise you don't love one more than the other. Raise children is less limiting.

    Be gracious is SO HUGE. I wish we could all teach our children this one successfully. I love that!

    I would second to anyone that a letter to your kids every year on their birthday is a major gift. I have one child that has gone away to college and I sent him off with his letters. He had a rocky teenage season and those letters helped heal some hurts. Very powerful.

  2. Autumnesf --
    Family: You are absolutely right. DNA does NOT make a family. I was adopted by my dad when I was 3 and I wouldn't change it for the world. Family is family and that is something that I DO want my kids to know. We also live 2300 miles away from any "family" so our friends have become that group for us as well. I don't disagree with your feelings there at all!

    College: College doesn't mean your smart. But it usually (not always) makes it easier to find jobs and provide for a family. Where I have all boys, that's important for me. All that said though, Hubs does NOT have a degree and is doing VERY well at providing for us. I on the other DO have a degree and am struggling to find work outside of blogging and a few freelance jobs. My college statement is based on statistics and my desire to make their lives easy as possible.

    Children: Adoption is not subpar in anyway. Like I said, I was adopted by my own father. And two of my cousins are adopted as well. I didn't mean if you can physically have children. I just meant if the option arises and you CAN have a child in your life, Do.

    Thank you for calling me out on my misleading word choice. We do however have the same views, I just expressed mine differently. I hope people read these comments to get a better understanding of my meaning as well as your views as well. :) Thanks again! Truly!

  3. I absolutely love this post & I love the legacy you want to be behind. Thank you Digger for reminding me that I need to write letters to my children regularly, something they have to hold onto and can take my words & wisdom from, something they can read over & over, something that will touch their hearts. Your amazing love!