By Digger - Her blog is Digging Deeper. You can read about her here. You can see all posts by Digger here.
Repost From My Personal Blog
|This is the actual view that I could see from my spot in the garden. That's the mountain I remember.|
My very first memory, and I'm already willing time to move faster.
You see, for as long as I can remember I've been the type of person who wants to get to the next step. I'm always rushing to see what's on the other side and never fully in the moment at hand. Don't get me wrong, I'm present. I take pictures and make connections, but in the back of my mind I'm always preparing and planning for "the next step".
In high school I took AP and concurrent enrollment classes and graduated with several college credits so that I could "get through faster". Two months after graduation (ok, a month and a half) I got married so that "life could really begin". Our first year of marriage was great, but secretly I couldn't wait to start having kids and raising our family. And as soon as Bruiser was born I began hoping that naps and bedtimes would come faster today than they did yesterday.
Why do I do this? Why am I always in such a rush?
As I'm sitting here thinking all of this through, I realize that I'm missing soo much. Although a handful and at times I headache, Monster will only be 2 once, and he'll only say these things once. He'll only want to be held and cuddle for now. Bruiser is only going to be in first grade this year. He's only going to be learning these things once. He'll only be 6 right now. And Hubs will only be the Hubs that I know right now, right now. Time changes all of us. Time teaches us things and takes things away. Why am I living just to learn the lessons and then move on? It's like I keep waiting for them all to change into something better, something different, something that better fits my life and my schedule.
I need to learn how to slow down, to relax. I need to learn how to be fully present in the moment. Stop worrying about tomorrow and focus less on "the next big thing". Right now, I just need to focus on right now.
I need to just sit back, enjoy my peas, and marvel at the beautiful mountain in front of me.