Thursday, February 16, 2012

Mommyhood Game Plan

By Digger - Her blog is Digging Deeper. You can read about her here. You can see all posts by Digger here. 

For the last 6 months or so of my life I have been fighting some serious
depression. Everyday I've just been trying to make it from one moment
to the next. Things got better, and now they're getting good. That
process wasn’t instant, however. For me it took figuring out a game
plan: something that would make the life I was living not only doable,
but allow me to be successful at it. I compiled a list of a few things that
work for me:

1. Treat household duties as I would a career. My mom gave me this
advice and I love it. Sometimes we think that since running a household
isn’t exactly brain surgery, we should be good at it. I have discovered
this is not the case. Trying to juggle everything from cleaning,
cooking, food storage, finances, etc. – it is much more than a full time
job. I’ve started scheduling my weeks just like I did when I was in a
career. I even have deadlines. Meals are planned out, naps are penciled
it. When I have a plan and I can see that everything is going to get the
attention it needs, it’s much less stressful.

2. Make sure my “work day” ends. When I was first staying home with
Bruiser I was working until everything that needed to be done was done.
As a result I was totally crashing at the end of the day and, of course,
I never got everything done. I chose a time when my work day needed to
end. For me it is 9:30pm. After that, if it’s possible, I relax, read a
book, blog – whatever I want to do.

3. Add some glamour to my life- It’s easy to let things go a little bit
when your clothes are constantly covered in ketchup and boogers.
Sometimes my conversations with Hubs go something like this: "Hey honey,
I just ate a quiet lunch at my desk and now I'm off to design something
on the computer... how are the kids?" "Oh everyone is fine, I ate hot
dogs off the floor, Monster peed his pants and has been crying
for an hour straight.” Yeah. Motherhood isn’t the most glamorous
profession in the world.

4. Strengthen bonds with other women – I see other mothers as my
co-workers. We just happen to have private offices (our homes). Keeping
in touch and getting out together keeps me from feeling so isolated.

5. Enjoy my children – For me, the words I hear more than any others are
“Come here Mommy, come here!” My boys constantly want me to play, to
read to them, to chase them. I do these things throughout the day, but
other things have to be done and I sometimes have to tell them “not
right now”. I have found that having “Bruiser Days” and "Monster Days"
are a fantastic way to focus. Bruiser/Monster Day is a day I focus
totally on doing things that I know they love to do. Spending such a
concentrated amount of time with them reminds me how fun being a mom can
be. A day of no housework isn’t too bad either.

6. Never forget I am a woman, too. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the
idea of being a mother and wife, I forget that I have an entire
existence that entails neither of these two titles. I love to read, to
write, to study, to travel. I love to be alone and just breathe. Even if
I just escape to my car to listen to a Great Big Sea CD – I need some
down time. I need time away. Often. Not just token time. REAL time away.

7. Focus on my own goals. If I don’t have some sort of personal reserve, I forget real fast why I am doing all of this.

8. Know when I have reached full capacity. I don’t know who started the
idea of the “Super Mom”, but if that women exists, I have a feeling I
wouldn’t like her very much. Motherhood is hard and I like being around
other women who get that. I also realize that I have to say no when I
just can’t do anymore. I have to have days when things are just not
going to get done, when fast-food is the dinner of choice, when I crash
on the floor while my son watches whatever action hero DVD is closest. I
work 100 hour work weeks. I need to maintain some semblance of sanity.

This is my list. What is on yours?.....


  1. Great post-I really love #1! I will have to keep that in mind for myself:)

    Thanks for sharing this with us Digger!

  2. Digger - I completely LOVE this!! It is so hard to balance EVERYTHING & I needed to see this list! I definitely struggle the most with 3, 5,7 & 8!!

  3. This inspired me and the post I'm writing. I'm gonna link back to you :)

  4. Your always so honest and true Digger...these are great tips!!!!