This week has been a triumphant one for me! So I thought I would share with you all what made it so successful in the hope that maybe my adrenaline rush might rub off a little on you. Today's entry is a little excerpt from a post from my personal blog this week:
I grew up an athlete. I was always playing sports. I played basketball, softball, volleyball, and I was a swimmer. I played competitive sports all the way until my junior year in high school when I decided to get more serious about my instrument. But I've always considered myself an athlete (especially because I'm built like one...which equals SERIOUS flab when you're no longer working out anymore...). Even when I wasn't playing competitively anymore, I was still in marching band which really is an athletic event. So I stayed pretty thin and fit while I was in college because of that. But literally a MONTH after I graduated college, I started gaining weight. There were lots of contributing factors there, but probably the most prominent one was my inactivity. I was too busy to run, to busy to work out, maybe just TOO busy in general. So by July after Jonathan and I got married, I had gained a little less than 30 pounds. And I've been working for the last 5 years to shave that shame...I mean those pounds off...
Then I came here to the Bahamas with this fabulous workout plan in mind. But my teeny little apartment is really not conducive to P90X. I tried a few workouts in the beginning and found myself REALLY restricted. I mean how do you do plyometric exercises in a 5X5 living room? So I thought, "Well I'm eating less and walking more...I'll maintain and maybe lose a little weight in the meantime". So I've probably lost a pound or two since I've been here. Then it hit me last weekend that we are coming home in less than 5 weeks and it will be the holiday season! And Jonathan and I will be running around like crazy people seeing friends and family and prepping for Dominica and EATING (since we are so craving like 20+ US restaurants right now...). And then I have to move to a tropical island and rock a swimsuit again. So I decided to start running. It gives me an excuse to go see the ocean every day...
I decided to start out running one song and walking the next. So I have been. And my loop is just under a mile and a half, so I stay running for like 10-12 minutes total. But here's my thing (hence the title of this post). I am such a quitter when it comes to fitness. I get within striking distance of a goal and quit because...well I don't know why. I always have. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of failing, maybe it's because I'm just a pansy. I don't know. But when I was playing competitive sports, literally every single coach I ever had (with the exception of my Daddy who fielded my famous "talk to the hand" MO with grace and was ALWAYS supportive of me...) simply put...HATED me. They were so condescending and just plain mean. They praised my teammates and tore me down. "Pick up the pace Harris!", "My grandma could run faster than that!", "The whole team is gonna run horses until Harris actually runs it as fast as the rest of the team!", "Harris, get the hell out of my gym!". Maybe now you can see why I went running to the band hall!! But now, as an adult, I can see where they were coming from. I was on the brink of something great. I was within striking distance of a better time, a quicker pace, something greater than I was allowing myself to achieve. I see that now for a lot of reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that I DIDN'T back down when it came to French Horn stuff and I kicked butt and took names. Where could I have gone if I'd just kept running, just got outside of my head for a minute and "picked up the pace". What would have changed if, when the famous "get the hell out of my gym!" came, I said "No Coach" and put my head down and ran my butt off instead leaving like she said to...broken and bruised...with my morale shot. Set the pace, lead the team, didn't take that criticism to heart, and showed my teammates that I have more willpower than that stupid woman had given me credit for...
I was always good at verbal encouragement. Not so good at pace setting. What would have been different if I had realized, in those days of being a true athlete, that not only could I be the "cheerleader", I could be the physical motivator too?? So today, I channeled a few of my former teammates. And I kept putting one foot in front of the other. I kept moving. I kept saying to myself "You're going faster than you were sitting on the couch!". And I didn't stop from the time I walked out my front door to the time I stepped back inside. 1.48 miles later I feel like maybe I could conquer the world! That might sound like a tiny little feat, but let me tell you that it is HUGE for me. I honestly don't know if I've EVER done that in my life! I always defeated myself and said I couldn't do it. But today, I did. Today, I didn't defeat myself. And today I am actually REALLY proud of myself! For the first time in way too long in regards to fitness.
So thank you to my inspiring former teammates! And honestly, thank you to all my "crappy" coaches! I wish I had really known what you were trying to get out of me. Maybe if I knew that you saw how close I was to being truly fantastic at what I was doing, I would have reached a little deeper and grabbed that goal. Or maybe I wouldn't have. Maybe it just takes a little life experience to make you realize that you're your own worst critic, your own negative energy. That little voice inside that says "you know you probably can't" is a big fat (emphasis on the BIG and the FAT part) liar! Because an almost 28 year old woman who is 11 1/2 years removed from "true athlete" status reached her fitness goal today. And it feels incredible!
So my challenge to you this week (in true EYL form) is this. Evaluate what motivates you! What are your goals? What needs to happen so that you can reach out and grab that goal? Is it as simple as just ignoring that little lying voice in your head? Or maybe it will take more than that. But imagine yourself REACHING that goal...maybe surpassing it! I bet you'll be amazed at how quickly that "inability" melts away...
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